Sunday, August 13, 2017

The Purpose


This is one of my favorite themes, if not my favorite. The purpose, which to me translates to passions, things you have to do, are meant to do and how you can change the world. I have always, ALWAYS been extremely passionate about art, music, theatre, fashion, culture and changing the world. I'm talking from a really young age I was obsessed with Barbra Streisand records, Judy Garland films, Vivienne Westwood fashion and feminism. I always wanted to inspire and empower people. I was always passionate about inspiring women to live their best lives and have everything they wanted from life. To me this is my purpose. 

I have always felt the most confident when I was doing things I loved. From the womb, I was a performer. Constantly singing, acting, dancing while doing nothing at all. I would perform full musicals with myself for myself, and I was never happier. I pursued a degree in musical theatre. The stage is home. I get intense nerves and every time I think, I'm never doing this again and then I go out on stage and that's it. It's a wrap. I'm my best self. 

Throughout my couch conversation series, everyone I've spoken to has had the same response. When do you feel most confident? In their own words, when I'm doing something I'm passionate about. This week I want to look at people's passions as a way to find purpose. I want to encourage anyone with a dream to pursue it. If I didn't have passion, I don't know who I would be. I am nobody without my passions, nobody if I'm not working in line with my purpose. I want that for all of you! A focus, drive and need to wake up every morning to do whatever that is that makes you whole. 


This weeks purpose driven activities:

1. Passions
Everyone has purpose. I know this to be true. We all different gifts, different ideas, different things that wake us up in the morning. When you forget about the things we have been told to do, what do you love to do? What makes you feel alive? Make a list of these things that you're passionate about. This list will lead to your purpose. I love performing, break that down I love story telling. I love story telling to create connections with people, so people feel less isolated. Story telling is the key to humanity for me. This is why I pursue my art, my passions with the purpose of connecting and telling human stories. Your passions are the road map to your purpose.

2. Do Something New
We get in a routine as humans, easily. We see the same people, do the same things, eat the same foods. Life is so much greater than that. Try something new, try something different, you never know you may love it. I find that confidence is right outside your comfort zone, so push yourself. Life is meant to be lived!

3. Meditate 
When I feel lost, confused or unsure I look within. The answer might not come right away but clearing my head, breathing and asking for clarity is always a good start. Taking 5 minutes a day, or when you can to just breath, has helped me in so many situations. 

4. Go For It
You know that dream you've always had, go for it. That thing you convinced yourself was too big to attempt, go for it. The thing that you think about a lot, go for it. The thing your family convinced you not to try, go for it. People fail everyday and they get up. People make it everyday, why not you? Why don't you deserve to live the life you always dreamed of. GO FOR IT. You're worth it. You are enough. You got this. Plot, Hustle, Repeat. 

++



Monday, August 7, 2017

#SUMMERTIMETing Pop Up Shop Party





Are you all ready?! 

I'm so excited to finally announce all the details for #SUMMERTIMETING A Pop Up Shop Party. I'm hosting with one of my favorite plus size bloggers, boss babe, super dope humans Sasha from @flawsofcouture 

Saturday, August 26th 7-11pm at EyeBoogie Studios in Los Angeles!

Exclusive Plus Size Shopping Opportunity and the best thing is this event is FREE! A FREE event with a live DJ, Dancing, Taco Truck, Bar, Photos, Good Vibes and SHOPPING!

I will be selling the #BEinyourskin Project (dropping Aug 23rd), Sasha will be selling exclusive FOC, DEBSHOPS will be selling clothes and Smash Shoes will also have a booth! All these stores are exclusively online retailers and we're so excited to have them all in ONE place for you all to shop!

Please RSVP, so we have your name on the list and the first 100 people will get a free drink! RSVP at www.summertimeting.eventbrite.com

Saturday August 26th, 2017
Doors Open at 7pm 
Eyeboogie Studios
180 Glendale Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90026


SEE YOU ALL THERE BABES ++ Let's drink, dance, take ALL the pictures and have a bomb ass time!!

The Body



We made it through week one! I'm extremely overwhelmed by the out pour of love and support! Thank you all so much and now we move into week two,

The Body

It wasn't until I really started to look at myself mentally, spiritually, that I started to claim my physical body. I was always big, plus size, always. So my body was always up for discussion growing up, was always something that made me unique. I think because so many people focused on it growing up, my parents, doctors, strangers, peers, that I ignored it. My body just was. I didn't feel in it, or anything about it other than, this is different. My body is different. I was made to feel that it wasn't quite right. 
I started blogging three years ago and I don't even know if I was completely comfortable in my physical form even then. With the endless support from my friends and family, and the need to share myself in the blogging space, I continued to put myself in front of the camera. I started to see how I liked to pose, how I liked to see my body. My body became less something I hid under flattering clothing and something I shared proudly. My body became my art. By looking at myself through a lens, I started to see my "flaws" and instead of shying away from them, I fully embraced them. I embraced my body how it is now,  right this very moment, because it has gotten me through so much.  My body is perfect. My body is strong. My body is me. 

I remember a conversation I had with myself around 15 years old. After years of trying every diet, unsuccessfully, I was exhausted. I was tired of hating my body. I was tired of trying to hid my stomach, wearing cardigans to hid my arms, embarrassed over my stretch marks. It was too hard. So I started working on body confidence. I started really, REALLY working on loving my body. Hating my body was too heavy a burden to bare.   

Taking the activities from last week and continuing to do so, here is a list of activities you can do to help fully embrace your body. We have so many ideas and social constructs tied into how we talk about our bodies. This week we are focused solely on the physical form of the body. 

List of Activities to Try: 

1. Decorate Yourself

I have always loved fashion, the fantasy of fashion editorial and the creative outlet of styling. I always had a unique sense of style. I saw dressing as a costume, as a way to express the person I wanted to be that day. I really found my confidence through fashion, hence The B Word. I'm a big fan of taking the extra time in dressing if that's something you love. Put the extra moment in the morning to make yourself feel special, to make you feel like a warrior queen! If that's full hair and makeup, that's amazing. If it's not, that's amazing too. Take the moment to put together something that makes you feel amazing. Somedays, for me, it's pink feathers and other days it's a big hat. Either way I feel confident and the most myself.

2. Take More Photos

Take more FULL body pictures. Put yourself in front of a camera. Look at yourself. This is how I started to see myself. I started to really look at myself in photos and started to embrace my body fully. I used to see photos of myself and think that's not what I look like. I wasn't spending time looking at myself in the mirror or at all. Then when I started blogging and seeing hundreds photos of myself from every angle. I embraced every angle because I truly saw myself, I saw my body and I reclaimed it. I reclaimed it, owned it and grew a love for my body that couldn't be taken away from me. Us plus size women shy away from full body photos, but reclaim that and TAKE photos that show your whole body.

3. Realize Your Power

Your body is so incredibly powerful. Your body carries you through life. The ups, downs and the in between. When you think about the colds, pains, heartaches and the amazing moments how can you still hate your body? Your body is magic, pure magic. Realize that the body is so powerful, you are so powerful. 

4. Scare Yourself

Do something that scares you. Do something that makes you get outside of your thoughts about your body. Do something where you aren't focused on your body. Sky dive, dance in public, wear an outfit that you've always wanted to, have sex with the lights on and realize that you did it, you made it through and your body was a non issue. So many times people hold themselves back because of their bodies. We can do anything. So scare yourself, do something that you held yourself back from because of your body. 

++







Tuesday, August 1, 2017

The Mind

Here we are, it's August 1st and that means it's the #BEinyourskin 31 Day Body Confidence Challenge. This is one of my favorite months because it's so fulfilling. It's a month where my blog and social media channels focus on building self esteem and body confidence. SO here we are, starting this years journey! This challenge is less of a "challenge" and more of a month where we are aware and mindful of ourselves. Each weeks theme is designed to make you think, make you look at yourself. This can be personal or this can be public, it's all up to you! I love seeing women empowered to be their best selves. THAT is why I do this every year. Today we begin, for the third year in a row. Happy #BEinyourskin 31 Day Body Confidence Challenge! This is for us ++



WEEK ONE: The Mind

When I really sit down and think how I built my confidence, it always comes back to the foundation. It comes back to how I feel about myself, the way I talk to myself and the way I control my thoughts about my self. This all happens in my mind. 
Everyday we have endless thoughts, conversations with ourselves but are we really conscious of them?? Speaking to other women of all ages, they too agree, we have conversations with ourselves about ourselves without even thinking. Our thoughts become habits, they become things, they become our reality. 
So many of us have damaging thoughts everyday about our bodies. "I look ugly in that", "I hate my arms", "he doesn't like fat girls", "Ugh, I hate the way I look". These thoughts become the way we feel about ourselves. These thoughts become the way we carry ourselves. 
Maya Angelou says, "Some day we’ll be able to measure the power of words. I think they are things. They get on the walls. They get in your wallpaper. They get in your rugs, in your upholstery, and your clothes, and finally in to you”. 
Once I realized that the way I spoke to myself directly effected the way I felt, I controlled it. I controlled and had power over my thoughts. The first step is to recognize them. When you're having negative body talk, recognize that. When you're getting dressed in the morning, when you catch yourself in the mirror, when you feel like you CANT do something, recognize it. 

Step One: Recognize Negative Body Talk
Step Two: Combat It

The cant's will always stop you, always. Unless you become a warrior, bad ass, queen at combating that. Find three things you like about yourself, physically or not. Remind yourself of that. I created a mantra. I created a phrase, that pulled me through and reminded me who the fuck I was. It can be as simple as "I AM ENOUGH". Whenever you feel like you cant or hear that negative body talk, recognize it and get your bad ass, warrior mantra out and think, "I AM ENOUGH". Say it until you believe it. It feels insane. It feels stupid. It feels awkward but fake it until you make it. If you say, "I AM ENOUGH", enough times it will become habit and you will believe it. I work on this everyday, it doesn't happen over night. I still have moments of weakness, to be really honest, but I push through. I put on my warrior queen armor, that is my mantra and I push through. It works every time. 

This is what I would like to focus on this week. Create a Mantra, USE IT. Write it down, post it, make art with it, sing it, celebrate it, put it on your mirror, on your fridge, in your notebook, put it ALL over. 

If you are wanting other activities that help build confidence, try applying these:

1. Look in the mirror, really look at yourself.

 Look at your body, truly look. People don't do this. Set a three minute timer and stare. Look at the body that has taken you through life. The body that has been your constant partner and if that isn't enough to appreciate, find 5 things you love about your body or yourself. I like to do a list about physical traits and then a list of personality traits. It's okay to love yourself. Keep this list and with your mantra, remind yourself why you're awesome

2. Compliment People
Studies have shown that complimenting people has made people feel more confident. You recognizing in someone else, something that you like can be applied back to yourself. Aside from making someone else's day, it makes you feel good. It's as easy as a genuine compliment.

3. Self Care
Taking the time to take care of yourself is majorly important. Putting value in your time and reminding yourself that you're valuable, is a game changer. Take a bath, read, write, sing, swim, hang out with supportive, loving people, whatever self care looks like for you.

4. Cleanse Your Palate
Take a look at all the media you are consuming. Does this add value to your life? Does it empower you? Are the people you follow on social media uplifting?? A major key *DJ Khaled voice* in changing negative body talk is curating what you expose yourself to. Especially on social media, follow women whose bodies look like you, not people who you deem #bodygoals only. Understand that social media is a completely commercial, made up place where people get to be whoever they decide to be, maybe not who they are actually. Don't allow that to make you feel less than. Follow people who inspire you, follow people who share your passions, follow people who share beautiful pictures of something. 


As someone who has never been clinically diagnosed with a mental disorder, I can not speak from that place. Anxiety, Depression, ADD, etc. are extremely valid. Mental health is very important and can completely effect confidence, self esteem and self worth. I am not a expert, so this weeks theme doesn't focus on Mental Health, it focuses on controllable negative body talk and how that can effect self image. 

That is this weeks theme. I will be posting check in's and photo challenges on Instagram. Where you can share your mantras, share your experiences. Thank you so much for all the love and support, you all have enriched my life beyond what I can even express. This is for us +

-B 



watch video, talking about my personal experience with negative body talk and the mind. 



Couch Conversation #1 with Leah V. from @lvernon2000